The Accessible Family Circus

Will they believe MY excuse that you jumped out after them?

Out of respect to Mr. Keane passing away (especially since he was reportedly a good sport about Family Circus parodies), I will not insult him today. Rest in Peace, Bil Keane. You no longer have to live in a world with sturdy little bitches like Dolly.

Says the fat 5 year old who wears the same clothes every day.

Stop looking for justification, Jeffy. The answer is much simpler, and it has something to do with her not loving you.

Too easy.


Fatty.

Honey, that's so sweet, but you offering to help me write a letter is kind of like a fucking moron offering to help me write a letter.

And the award for "The ugliest kid to ever appear in Family Circus" goes to Huge Ass Stupid Faced Ugly Haired Ginger Kid. Notice that billy is flipping him off as he talks. Somewhere, Marcie-Looking Kid is happy.

Dolly would soon forget this revelation, but her drunken subconscious would remember it years later as she told that frat guy to "Call me Blitzen! Call me Blitzen!"

Congratulations, Dad. You've just received a legitimate zinger from a two foot tall lazy moron with an extremely poor grasp of the English language. Unfortunately, Hot Mom heard it and even pity sex reaches a point where it just gets too sad.

Judging by the look Billy is giving her, Dolly is about to be wearing a slap in the face.

The last time Mommy abused Daddy with a rake, he started to like it a little. This made Mommy like it a little less. But, that's marriage. It's constantly evolving.

Ok, I don't pretend to be an artist like Bil Keane pretends to be, but I can probably guess how a normal drawing would be done. If you're drawing a mom with a bunch of kids crawling all over her, I think it's reasonable that you'd draw the mom first, then draw the kids.

So, at some point, Bil Keane was looking at something like this:



1. Do you think this was an accident that was punctuated with a suprised "well...hell-LO there, Mommy"?
2. Did he stop at this phase of the drawing? For maybe 8-10 minutes?
3. Do you think he did a "save as..." at this point and saved it to My Documents\Old Bills\Misc\1983\September\Lawn and Garden\October\Misc\Wheelbarrow.jpg?
4. When you remove all of the kids, Barfy looks way more inappropriate, but makes way more sense. Especially if he's the one talking.

Hot mom said the same thing last night, albeit in a slightly more forceful tone. Dad is bad at handling pressure. If last night is any indication, he will be done spelling before Dolly knows what hit her.

Interestingly, "Creating another disaster" is how Hot Mom thinks of it when she gets drunk enough to let Bil do it with her (not counting the time after the Skid Row concert when she was positive that Sebastian Bach looked right at her during "I Remember You").

OK. I'm convinced Bil is just screwing with us now. That logo really draws focus.